


Snowy footsteps

by Vincent (Apathestale)



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Action, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Sonadow - Freeform, Sonic is a failure at life, Sonic is trans congrats if you got that, Tfw u just want chest fluff, They're all mostly aged up, This is gonna get long lmao, i don't know where i'm going with this, i hope anyways, severe anxiety
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 17:25:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18721600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apathestale/pseuds/Vincent
Summary: There's many things the hedgehog could handle, sadly taking care of himself and his trauma isn't some of those.





	Snowy footsteps

Wind ripped at his blue spines, here and there it seemed he was letting off quills, chaos, _was he gonna get old?_ It was surreal to imagine. Moonlight engulfed the area, embraced the trees in a gentle white light as the winter breeze tore down the few still remaining leaves. (really, they should've fallen long ago, it was a wonder that ocassionally you would still find a long lost, brown leaf.) The blue blur could feel the snow crunching under his feet as he tried to warm himself up in his speed. It was late and like usual, he just couldn't rest unless he'd tired himself out for several hours. Be it in the snow, be it running, be it just.. anything physically taxing. It kept him running from his thoughts, as his thoughts were toxin that he wasn't willing to let flow past his head down to his heart. Instead, he did his best to let it flow around, to leave by his feet stepping on the ground, leaving them behind in the cold snow. At least that was what he hoped to do. What he hoped to do everytime it took way too long for old egghead to work on another scheme and y'know, with time coming on, it just seemed like the old man was doing less and less. _Less and less_ , but more and _more cruel_. Sure, he's done some cruel stuff, some weird shit that Sonic couldn't quite wrap his head around & just lately he'd been more and more like the villain he always made himself out to be. Not a bad thing, of course! But.. still worrying. The blue hedgehog had known the old man for long enough to know his schemes, yet they were getting more and more original, to get scarier, sometimes he was really, just, really actually scared him. The old Eggman never actually did that. Maybe he learnt? It was hard to imagine, Sonics head felt all _fuzzy_ with all these thoughts coursing through his veins as he tried to direct them away from his fragile heart guarded by heavy walls and down to his feet, as to leave them in his footsteps.

 

 

It didn't really work, but it usually did and the blue blur wasn't one to give up, so he didn't let that discourage his thinking head. He was cold, he could feel the ice creep up his unguarded arms. _Chaos_ , he should really learn to be better at taking care of himself, or at least get a jacket, or at least have the slightest education to read more than simple sentences, to understand more than just what people talked so he could get a job. But who was Sonic the hedgehog, if he was doing anything but thrashing Eggmans robots? Hell, he could speak so many languages, yet he couldn't write a single one of them. It was a damn wonder the hero knew how to write his own name, if only because it got embarassing when a 10 year old asked you for your autograph and you had to decline not because you didn't want to, but because you couldn't write your own damn name. It was whatever, at least Tails had ended up helping him in his adventure through education. Going slow and he was way too quickly bored and not listening, but Tails was trying and Sonic appreciated his little brother for trying, but Chaos was he a horrible listener. He just got bored way too quickly and then his mind would wander and he hated that. And Sonic didn't want to keep swallowing pills just to keep himself running when his anxiety pulled on his quills. The hedgehogs heavy, heated breaths left in small clouds of smoke when he kept the area in his view. It was beautiful at night, when the lightest snowflake hit the ground and engulfed the normally green grass of the green hill zone in beautiful white. Y'know, he'd spend more time here, if only there was more to do than just look at the scenery. The few bouncy pads that were still there were long rusty and made terrible noises when you dared accidentally step on their bouncy end.

 

 

The few speeding pads had long stopped working, one or two probably still worked, but they looked so rusty that he feels like, if he dared to put even the lightest weight on them, they'll collapse together like the others did. The blue blur finally stopped his walk, but with that, the cold crept up his legs and hit him when it crawled over his chest( _a sick feeling in his stomach at the reminder_ ). Rubbing his gloved hands together, _chaos_ , he could really at least use a scarf. Tails would always get upset at him when he found out that Sonic went out this late, when the night was this cold, but he just hated being all cooped up in Tails' house. Of course, it was comfortable, there was plenty of room, he even had his own room and he could definitely do small paces there if he felt too cooped up, but it was just.. not him to sleep in a house. Sure, a few times he's managed to, but if at all a few hours at most. His anxiety would crawl at him, drag him down and render him unable to move yet tear at his brain enough to keep him awake. And like mentioned before, the hedgehog really didn't want to depend on medication to function. That included sleeping, so he wasn't going to take his anxiety pills, or any sleeping pills. He'll just let his brain solve it on its own, like it's done the past 20 years _whenever_ his anxiety tore at him. But usually he had an adventure to distract him, he'd have Eggman clawing at his feet, but with the fewer adventures, but harder ones, he felt lost about what to do when his mind wanted to see him suffer.

 

 

It was whatever, the hero would think and just brush it off. But it just seemed like it got harder and harder to do. And you know? Usually he could deal with it _anyways_ , he was Sonic _after all_ , Sonic the hedgehog - no challenge was too big for him! No race was too hard for him, even when it was against his own mind! That's what he hoped to think, anyways. His ears layed on the side of his head as he tried to warm himself with rubbing his hands together, looking around. There was little to nothing around, so the moon gave off a really nice light. All in all, it looked incredibly pretty on the white snow on the ground. Sonic sure damn missed this place. He promised himself to visit more. Now that his body felt more tired out, he could feel the cold still creep on his back and it was a grim reminder on his cold chest, that the male hedgehog quickly decided to ignore. He's managed to do it the past 20 years, so why should it bother him now? Winters really weren't his favourite season, as pretty as they were. He looked back at his heavy footsteps in the snow, only lightly sinked in as the hedgehog often managed to practically fly over the ground when he hurried. He could feel a smile tugging at his lips, he shook his head. Sonic couldn't help but rub his nose, flicking it as his ears slowly perked up again. He was still cold, incredibly cold and he was so getting a lesson from Tails again in the morning, but he rarely got sick anyways. Even when he did this, it was a damn wonder.

 

 

Whatever, he debated. Should he go to his own hybrid of a tent and a hut and pray to Chaos that it was intact in this snow fall or bother going back to Tails and risk a scolding? He decided the former was the _lesser_ evil, at the very least he wanted to check up on the place and possibly clean up in case he had to. It wasn't supposed to snow again anytime soon, so while everything was covered in snow, it'd be useful if he took care of his place. Not that he ever spent much time there, but it was still an important hide-out for the hedgehog. Sonic sped up as he tried to remember the way in all this similar-looking snow. Of course, he knew the area better than anyone, but his brain had a bad habit of throwing out way too many memories, when all he wanted was to repress his trauma and leave it behind in his footsteps. The hedgehog disliked stopping to think for a reason, after all. Through all the years of being a hero, he simply ran from all the traumatic events that just... happened. They just passed him by, which is what he liked to think, but they stayed in the back of his mind, ready to attack back _as soon as_ his mind settled down. So instead of settling down? The hero would just keep on running. It's not like he ever knew anything else, after all. It seemed _all_ the hero knew was how to run. How to charge ahead and how to _run from his fears_. How to attack and how to _run from his problems_. Finally, he found the small place. For the time he's left it alone, for the heavy snowfall the last few days it looked better than he expected.

 

 

A hammock dangled around, snow on the blanket and pillow that he had on it since he used to sleep on it a lot in summer. Usually he didn't need the blanket, but it was there just in case. Sonic looked around the place, really it could be thrashed more. But that didn't mean it looked good. There was even snow on the fridge. It didn't have a door, or proper walls, but electricity worked and the walls that were there did protect the few belongings he kept here well enough. At least the media and paparazzi hadn't found this place and ruined it yet. For now it was comfortable and nice to be in. He hoped it would stay that way. He really didn't feel like dealing with people ruining the one place he felt comfortable in. He dusted the snow off of the hammock, sighing out. Red shoes tipped on the ground while the hero would look around, trying to clean the few things he could clean in the darkness of the moonlight. He wasn't feeling like risking turning on the electricity and probably get electro shocked because of all the water around. The lake was frozen and there was ice all over the ground in general and he really didn't want to slip. His mind felt all over tonight, he thought, holding his head. He was so cold, he feels like he might die. So, instead of just not touching things, he decided to reach for the button that would build up the proper walls, Tails was a real miracle in Sonics world. They were large and not too thin, so the cold wouldn't get in. But even better? The roof was made out of glass and in general, the door was big so in case his anxiety kept him up? He could always move. All in all he felt more comfortable in this hut than in a house. _No offense_ to Tails' house, just not Sonics style. He was scared of closed spaces for a reason.

 

 

But he could control this and there was enough space. A yawn left Sonic, he reached for a broom so he could brush out the bit of snow so that the rising heat wouldn't just put everything under water. That was not what the hero was looking for, when he was already trying to sneak his way past one of his worst fears. Really didn't need water added to the list. Either way, he managed to get just enough snow out of the way to not be basically standing in water when it got warm in the small place. The warmth made Sonic smile, softly engulfing his previously freezing arms. He yawned again, trying to clean up the hammock and hope that the pillow and blanket to not be too wet - but no luck, they were drenched. Sonic pouted a little, then put them down under the light of the lamp, digging for a fresh pair of pillow and blanket. Luckily he had a few hidden in a small heated place in the ground. They felt warm, comfortable before he even just managed to throw them onto the hammock. Sonic could sink into them after the cold night.

And so he did, throwing himself onto the dangling sleeping place, burying his face in the pillow with the blanket over himself.


End file.
